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How Many Teeth?
Teacher Said to Student : "How did you lose the fingers of your right hand, ?"
Student : "Sir, I put them in our pet cat's mouth to count how many teeth she had."
Teacher : "And then how did you lose your fingers?"
Student : "The cat closed her mouth tightly to feel how many fingers I had."
Seven Rabbits
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits how many rabbits have you got?
Boy: Seven!
Teacher: No listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits how many rabbits have you got?
Boy: Seven!
Teacher: Lets try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples how many apples have you got?
Boy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits how many rabbits have you got?
Boy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Boy: I have already got one rabbit at home now!
Headache
Teacher: I'd like you to be very quiet today, girls. I've got a dreadful headache.
Student: Please, Miss ! why don't you do what mum does when she has a headache ?
Teacher: What's that ?
Student: She sends us out to play !
A little Inspiration
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games.
In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States...."
Nothing to Worry About
A boy of third grade once asks his teacher if a girl of 13 can become a mother, the teacher answers yes .
He then asks if a girl of 11 can be a mother, the teacher answers- maybe yes.
He then asks if a girl of 8 can be a mother? The teacher gets annoyed and said- not at all.
The boy seemed relieved and told the girl sitting on his bench "See..? Told ya there was nothining to worry about."
Blank Paper... Cheating
Tow pupils were fighting outside the examination hall. The Teacher came out and said : why are you fighting?.
One student : Teacher he left his answer sheet blank.
Teacher : Why should that bother you?.
Student: I too left my answer sheet blank.
Teacher : So . . . . . ?
Student : You will think that we have copied from each other.
Ladies First
Teacher : Correct the sentence. A bull and a cow is grazing in the field
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
H to O
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH : HIJKLMNO!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH : Yesterday you said its H to O!
Go To School
A Mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning.
Nobody in school likes me he complained.
The teachers dont like me the kids dont like me the superintendent wants to transfer me the bus drivers hate me the school board wants me to drop out and the custodians have it in for me. I dont want to go to school.
But John you have to go to school said her mother sternly. You are healthy you have a lot to learn you have something to offer others you are a leader. And besides you are 40 years old and YOU ARE THE PRINCIPAL.
Teacher... Rubbing the Words
One day when the teacher walked to the black board she noticed someone had
written the word penis in tiny small letters. She turned around scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none she quickly erased it and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw in larger letters the word
penis again on the black board. Again she looked around in vain for the
culprit but found none so she proceeded with the days lesson.
Every morning for about a week she went into the classroom and found the
same word written on the board and each day it was written in larger letters.
Finally one day she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board but instead found the words The more you rub it the bigger it gets!
Teacher Said to Student : "How did you lose the fingers of your right hand, ?"
Student : "Sir, I put them in our pet cat's mouth to count how many teeth she had."
Teacher : "And then how did you lose your fingers?"
Student : "The cat closed her mouth tightly to feel how many fingers I had."
Seven Rabbits
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits how many rabbits have you got?
Boy: Seven!
Teacher: No listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits how many rabbits have you got?
Boy: Seven!
Teacher: Lets try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples how many apples have you got?
Boy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits how many rabbits have you got?
Boy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Boy: I have already got one rabbit at home now!
Headache
Teacher: I'd like you to be very quiet today, girls. I've got a dreadful headache.
Student: Please, Miss ! why don't you do what mum does when she has a headache ?
Teacher: What's that ?
Student: She sends us out to play !
A little Inspiration
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games.
In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States...."
Nothing to Worry About
A boy of third grade once asks his teacher if a girl of 13 can become a mother, the teacher answers yes .
He then asks if a girl of 11 can be a mother, the teacher answers- maybe yes.
He then asks if a girl of 8 can be a mother? The teacher gets annoyed and said- not at all.
The boy seemed relieved and told the girl sitting on his bench "See..? Told ya there was nothining to worry about."
Blank Paper... Cheating
Tow pupils were fighting outside the examination hall. The Teacher came out and said : why are you fighting?.
One student : Teacher he left his answer sheet blank.
Teacher : Why should that bother you?.
Student: I too left my answer sheet blank.
Teacher : So . . . . . ?
Student : You will think that we have copied from each other.
Ladies First
Teacher : Correct the sentence. A bull and a cow is grazing in the field
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
H to O
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH : HIJKLMNO!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH : Yesterday you said its H to O!
Go To School
A Mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning.
Nobody in school likes me he complained.
The teachers dont like me the kids dont like me the superintendent wants to transfer me the bus drivers hate me the school board wants me to drop out and the custodians have it in for me. I dont want to go to school.
But John you have to go to school said her mother sternly. You are healthy you have a lot to learn you have something to offer others you are a leader. And besides you are 40 years old and YOU ARE THE PRINCIPAL.
Teacher... Rubbing the Words
One day when the teacher walked to the black board she noticed someone had
written the word penis in tiny small letters. She turned around scanned the
class looking for the guilty face. Finding none she quickly erased it and
began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw in larger letters the word
penis again on the black board. Again she looked around in vain for the
culprit but found none so she proceeded with the days lesson.
Every morning for about a week she went into the classroom and found the
same word written on the board and each day it was written in larger letters.
Finally one day she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board but instead found the words The more you rub it the bigger it gets!
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