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Once upon a time one Indian, one Russien, one American, were travling in a aroplane for a world tour.
Suddenly American stick his hand out of the window his hand got black.
The American says "I am dame sure that this would be definetly my countey America b'coz I got my hand black because my country has very developement then any other country in the world.
After that Russien stick his hand out of the window his hand got freez.
He say's that I am dame sure that this is my country russia because only in russia the temperture was less then 0' Degree.
After that Indian stick his hand out of the window and suddenly shouts "Hey somebody stolen my watch".
"I am dame sure that this is india."
Sher aur Chooha
A sher is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner a chooha too is dancing.
He is asked, "Are bhai choohe, aap kyu nach rahe ho?"
"Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai....Nachunga Nahin? "
"Sher kabse aapka bhai hone laga?"
"Shadi se pehle main bhi sher tha!", replied chooha.
POPULATION EXPLOSION
Instructor giving a lecture on the population explosion:
"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child."
One student, a sardar, immediately stands up and says: "She must be found and stopped, sir!"
Sardar Ji's Brain
In a brain selling centre, most brains were available for sums ranging from Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 1,00,000.
But one Sardar Ji's brain was being quoted at over a Million dollars.
Why is it asked somebody.
Well! A Sardar Ji's brain is very rare and we can get only one in about a million heads, came the reply.
Banta & Thief
Banta Singh, coming back from a late night movie was attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and Banta gave a good account for himself. But finally the thief tied him down and went through his pockets.
He found only 25 Paisa.
The exasperated robber exclaimed "What the hell.
Why were you fighting for only 25 Paisa"
Banta replied "Oh. You were only after this 25 paise is it ? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000 I have hidden in my left shoe".
Jigsaw Puzzle
Two sardarjis were in a bar partying like fools.
They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow.
They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir.
When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months!
"TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender.
"That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
"Oh yeah?" says one surd. "On The box it is mentioned 2 - 4 YEARS!
Surd's Short Story
A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read : "Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients !!
Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below: Oh God : religion
My wife: sex
Going to deliver a child : Suspense (whether a girl or a boy)
"Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers.
The sardar replied : Who is the father? Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story!
Three men - an American, a Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The American pressed his forearm and the beep stoped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
Banta felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive. He steped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of 'Toilet paper' hanging from his butt.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.
Percentage
An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?" The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window. "Can you see the river?" "Yes" "Can you see the bridge over it?" "Of course", said the minister.
"10 percent", said the senator smugly.
Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc. etc. "How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in RS?', he asked. The minister called him to the window. "See the river over there?" "Sure", cried the senator. "Can you see the bridge over it?" The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said - "No, I don't see any bridge."
"100 percent", said the minister !!
Parents
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta singh : 'Yes, I have'
Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'
Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.'
Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'
Suddenly American stick his hand out of the window his hand got black.
The American says "I am dame sure that this would be definetly my countey America b'coz I got my hand black because my country has very developement then any other country in the world.
After that Russien stick his hand out of the window his hand got freez.
He say's that I am dame sure that this is my country russia because only in russia the temperture was less then 0' Degree.
After that Indian stick his hand out of the window and suddenly shouts "Hey somebody stolen my watch".
"I am dame sure that this is india."
Sher aur Chooha
A sher is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner a chooha too is dancing.
He is asked, "Are bhai choohe, aap kyu nach rahe ho?"
"Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai....Nachunga Nahin? "
"Sher kabse aapka bhai hone laga?"
"Shadi se pehle main bhi sher tha!", replied chooha.
POPULATION EXPLOSION
Instructor giving a lecture on the population explosion:
"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child."
One student, a sardar, immediately stands up and says: "She must be found and stopped, sir!"
Sardar Ji's Brain
In a brain selling centre, most brains were available for sums ranging from Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 1,00,000.
But one Sardar Ji's brain was being quoted at over a Million dollars.
Why is it asked somebody.
Well! A Sardar Ji's brain is very rare and we can get only one in about a million heads, came the reply.
Banta & Thief
Banta Singh, coming back from a late night movie was attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and Banta gave a good account for himself. But finally the thief tied him down and went through his pockets.
He found only 25 Paisa.
The exasperated robber exclaimed "What the hell.
Why were you fighting for only 25 Paisa"
Banta replied "Oh. You were only after this 25 paise is it ? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000 I have hidden in my left shoe".
Jigsaw Puzzle
Two sardarjis were in a bar partying like fools.
They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow.
They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir.
When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months!
"TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender.
"That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
"Oh yeah?" says one surd. "On The box it is mentioned 2 - 4 YEARS!
Surd's Short Story
A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read : "Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients !!
Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below: Oh God : religion
My wife: sex
Going to deliver a child : Suspense (whether a girl or a boy)
"Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers.
The sardar replied : Who is the father? Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story!
Three men - an American, a Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The American pressed his forearm and the beep stoped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
Banta felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive. He steped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of 'Toilet paper' hanging from his butt.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains.
Percentage
An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?" The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window. "Can you see the river?" "Yes" "Can you see the bridge over it?" "Of course", said the minister.
"10 percent", said the senator smugly.
Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc. etc. "How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in RS?', he asked. The minister called him to the window. "See the river over there?" "Sure", cried the senator. "Can you see the bridge over it?" The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said - "No, I don't see any bridge."
"100 percent", said the minister !!
Parents
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta singh : 'Yes, I have'
Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'
Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.'
Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'
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