Tweet
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck. "Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going ?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
************************************************
For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces, when she was downloaded, er, born on Jan 26 at 6:11 p.m.
And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products have in common?
1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support.
2. Both barf all over themselves regularly.
3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won't help.
4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceeded them.
5. At first release they're relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year.
6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one.
7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation.
8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release.
9. Bill gets the credit, but someone else did most of the work.
10. For at least the next year, they'll suck
*************************************************
******Computer Programming Song********
# Local Variable:
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon, pal do pal meri
kahani hai, pal do pal meri hasti hai..
# Global Variable:
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoon ,har ik pal meri
kahani hai,har ik pal meri hasti hai
# Null POinters:
Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya.
# Dangling pointers:
Maut bhi aati nahi ,jaan bhi jati nahin.
# Goto:
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si,Na woh samajh sake na hum
# Two Recursive functions calling each other:
Mujhe kuchh kehna hein,mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein
Pehle tum, pehle tum.
# The debugger:
Jab koi baat bigad jaye,Jab koi mushkil pad jaye
Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz.
# From VC++ to VB:
Yeh haseen vaadiyan,Yeh khula asmaan,
Aa gaye hum kahan.
# Untrackable bug:
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.
# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client):
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua.
# And then to the client:
Jab hua, Tab hua, O chhodo, ye na socho.
# Load Balancing:
Saathi haath badhana, ek akela thak jayega,mil kar
bojh uthana
# Modem ( modem talk on a busy connection):
suno - kaho,kaha - suna,kuch huwa kya?, abhee to
nahin..
# Windows getting open sourced:
Parde mein rahne do parda na uthao, parda jo uth gaya
to bhed khul jayeha,allah meri tauba, allah meri tauba
*****And Some Films Name:*******
# ESC   :NO DO GYARA
# UNDO   :AA AB LAUT CHALE
# SYSTEM WHOSE OS IS DOS   :BUDHA MIL GAYA
# SOFTWARE & HARDWARE   :EK DUJE KE LIYE
# ALT+CNTR+DEL   :AAKHARI RASTA
# HARD DISK & FLOPPY   :GHARWALI BAHERWALI
# RAM   :KORA KAGAZ
# C++ & C :BADEMIYA CHOTEMIYA
*************************************************
One day Laloo was traveling by his car.
He was going to a village for campaigning. Suddenly a piglet came
before
the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time and
unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident.
At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset. He called the
driver and said,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta
hoon. Usko dhundke lao".
At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after
some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and
lots of money in his hands!!!
Laloo was surprised. He asked,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko
laiye,
aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! Baat kya hai?"
At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident. Hearing it
they were rejoiced, put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some
time and gave this money."
Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bola?"
The driver replied:
"Main bola, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke
bachhe ko mar dala hai......... ."
************************************************** *
George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk
he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is?
"Bob". "And what is your question, Bob?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And third, What
happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies
that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right ---
question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and
asks him what his name is?
Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, What
happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes
early?! And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!
******************************************
8) Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Student
********************************
*******************************
******************************
hope everyone likes it..
please post ur replies and views..& reps
She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck. "Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going ?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
************************************************
For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces, when she was downloaded, er, born on Jan 26 at 6:11 p.m.
And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products have in common?
1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support.
2. Both barf all over themselves regularly.
3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won't help.
4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceeded them.
5. At first release they're relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year.
6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one.
7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation.
8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release.
9. Bill gets the credit, but someone else did most of the work.
10. For at least the next year, they'll suck
*************************************************
******Computer Programming Song********
# Local Variable:
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon, pal do pal meri
kahani hai, pal do pal meri hasti hai..
# Global Variable:
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoon ,har ik pal meri
kahani hai,har ik pal meri hasti hai
# Null POinters:
Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya.
# Dangling pointers:
Maut bhi aati nahi ,jaan bhi jati nahin.
# Goto:
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si,Na woh samajh sake na hum
# Two Recursive functions calling each other:
Mujhe kuchh kehna hein,mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein
Pehle tum, pehle tum.
# The debugger:
Jab koi baat bigad jaye,Jab koi mushkil pad jaye
Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz.
# From VC++ to VB:
Yeh haseen vaadiyan,Yeh khula asmaan,
Aa gaye hum kahan.
# Untrackable bug:
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.
# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client):
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua.
# And then to the client:
Jab hua, Tab hua, O chhodo, ye na socho.
# Load Balancing:
Saathi haath badhana, ek akela thak jayega,mil kar
bojh uthana
# Modem ( modem talk on a busy connection):
suno - kaho,kaha - suna,kuch huwa kya?, abhee to
nahin..
# Windows getting open sourced:
Parde mein rahne do parda na uthao, parda jo uth gaya
to bhed khul jayeha,allah meri tauba, allah meri tauba
*****And Some Films Name:*******
# ESC   :NO DO GYARA
# UNDO   :AA AB LAUT CHALE
# SYSTEM WHOSE OS IS DOS   :BUDHA MIL GAYA
# SOFTWARE & HARDWARE   :EK DUJE KE LIYE
# ALT+CNTR+DEL   :AAKHARI RASTA
# HARD DISK & FLOPPY   :GHARWALI BAHERWALI
# RAM   :KORA KAGAZ
# C++ & C :BADEMIYA CHOTEMIYA
*************************************************
One day Laloo was traveling by his car.
He was going to a village for campaigning. Suddenly a piglet came
before
the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time and
unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident.
At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset. He called the
driver and said,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta
hoon. Usko dhundke lao".
At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after
some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and
lots of money in his hands!!!
Laloo was surprised. He asked,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko
laiye,
aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! Baat kya hai?"
At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident. Hearing it
they were rejoiced, put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some
time and gave this money."
Laloo then asked him "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bola?"
The driver replied:
"Main bola, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke
bachhe ko mar dala hai......... ."
************************************************** *
George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk
he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is?
"Bob". "And what is your question, Bob?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And third, What
happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies
that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right ---
question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and
asks him what his name is?
Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, What
happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes
early?! And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!
******************************************
8) Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Student
********************************
*******************************
******************************
hope everyone likes it..
please post ur replies and views..& reps
...nice one...
Comment