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An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him,
was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his
situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my
potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your
mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging
up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't
dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers
showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and
plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."
MORAL: NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD,
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART
YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT
MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
************************************************** ***
How can an Angrez tell his Indian naukar, who doesn't know English at all, to "Open the door"???
.
.
.
.
Say these lines fast in US English accent....
"There was a cold day!"...
************************************************** ******
1: A boy gives a flower to a girl and says i am from BJP's SIDE DEN
THE GIRL GAVE A SLAP TO THE BOY AND SAID A AM FROM CONGRES'S SIDE.
2: SANTA WORED A BLACK AND A WHITE SHOE TO THE SKOOL . HIS TEACHER
SAID HIM DAT GO HOME AND CHANGE DEM . HE REPLIED THAT MAAM AT HOME
ALSO ONE BLACK AND ONE WHITE SHOE IS ONLY KEPT.
3: A CHILD GOT 0% IN HIS PAPER. HIS FATHER SCOLDED HIM AND SAID WAT
IS DIS 0%. SO THE CHILD SAID THAT DAD TEACHER KE PAAS STAR KHATAM HO
GYE THE TO PLANET DE DIYE.
4: A GREEN CAP WAS THROUGHN A RED SEA .WEN WE WILL TAKE IT OUT WAT
COLOUR WILL IT B ? GREEN AS RED SEA IS A NAME OF SEA ONLY
5: DIFFRENCE BETWEEN SALI AND BIWI- BIWI IS TENSION SALI IS PENSION
6: A SCHOOL GIRL WAS HAVING AN EYE TEST . CAN U READ OUT THE LETTERS
ON THE WALL ASKED THE OPTICIAN. CHAT? WHERE? ASKED THE GIRL.
7: SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: ARE U CHEWING GUM
BILLY:NO I AM BILLY ANDERSON.
8: MUNNA BHAI: AGAR BINA DANTO KA KUTA KATE TO KYA KARNA CHAHIYE?
CIRCUIT:SIMPLE BHAI.....BINA SUI KA INJECTION LAGANE KA!!!!!!!!!
9: RAMU: YE AUTOMATICALLY KYA HOTA HAI?
BHOLA: TUJHE YEH BHI NAHI PATA , JAB AUTO MEIN KOI GANJI LADKI JA
RAHI HO TO USSE KEHTE HAIN AUTO-ME-TAKLI
10: 1980 GIRL: MAAN MEIN JEANS PEHANUNGI
MAAN: NAHI BETI LOG KYA KAHENGEY?
2007 GIRL:MAAN MEIN MINI SKIRT PEHANUNGI
MAAN:PEHEN LE BETI KUCH TO PEHEN LE!
************************************************** ********
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It (I love that one!)
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Fi nd a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers .
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack .
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile.
please post your replies..........................
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him,
was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his
situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my
potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your
mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging
up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't
dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers
showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and
plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."
MORAL: NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD,
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART
YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT
MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
************************************************** ***
How can an Angrez tell his Indian naukar, who doesn't know English at all, to "Open the door"???
.
.
.
.
Say these lines fast in US English accent....
"There was a cold day!"...
************************************************** ******
1: A boy gives a flower to a girl and says i am from BJP's SIDE DEN
THE GIRL GAVE A SLAP TO THE BOY AND SAID A AM FROM CONGRES'S SIDE.
2: SANTA WORED A BLACK AND A WHITE SHOE TO THE SKOOL . HIS TEACHER
SAID HIM DAT GO HOME AND CHANGE DEM . HE REPLIED THAT MAAM AT HOME
ALSO ONE BLACK AND ONE WHITE SHOE IS ONLY KEPT.
3: A CHILD GOT 0% IN HIS PAPER. HIS FATHER SCOLDED HIM AND SAID WAT
IS DIS 0%. SO THE CHILD SAID THAT DAD TEACHER KE PAAS STAR KHATAM HO
GYE THE TO PLANET DE DIYE.
4: A GREEN CAP WAS THROUGHN A RED SEA .WEN WE WILL TAKE IT OUT WAT
COLOUR WILL IT B ? GREEN AS RED SEA IS A NAME OF SEA ONLY
5: DIFFRENCE BETWEEN SALI AND BIWI- BIWI IS TENSION SALI IS PENSION
6: A SCHOOL GIRL WAS HAVING AN EYE TEST . CAN U READ OUT THE LETTERS
ON THE WALL ASKED THE OPTICIAN. CHAT? WHERE? ASKED THE GIRL.
7: SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: ARE U CHEWING GUM
BILLY:NO I AM BILLY ANDERSON.
8: MUNNA BHAI: AGAR BINA DANTO KA KUTA KATE TO KYA KARNA CHAHIYE?
CIRCUIT:SIMPLE BHAI.....BINA SUI KA INJECTION LAGANE KA!!!!!!!!!
9: RAMU: YE AUTOMATICALLY KYA HOTA HAI?
BHOLA: TUJHE YEH BHI NAHI PATA , JAB AUTO MEIN KOI GANJI LADKI JA
RAHI HO TO USSE KEHTE HAIN AUTO-ME-TAKLI
10: 1980 GIRL: MAAN MEIN JEANS PEHANUNGI
MAAN: NAHI BETI LOG KYA KAHENGEY?
2007 GIRL:MAAN MEIN MINI SKIRT PEHANUNGI
MAAN:PEHEN LE BETI KUCH TO PEHEN LE!
************************************************** ********
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It (I love that one!)
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Fi nd a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers .
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack .
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile.
please post your replies..........................
Comment