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? Two old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over & whispered: My butt is going to sleep. 'I know,' replied the other, 'I heard it snore three times.'
? Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
? A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll."
A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"
? Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
? Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.
? A girl proposed to Santa and he denied simply saying that in our family, we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on. So please excuse me !!!!!
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Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes.
His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"
I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".
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It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"
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if you like these jokes ....plz post your replies....
and
REPZ are always accepted
? Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
? A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll."
A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"
? Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
? Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.
? A girl proposed to Santa and he denied simply saying that in our family, we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on. So please excuse me !!!!!
*********************************************
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes.
His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"
I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".
**********************************************
It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"
__________________________________________________ ______________
if you like these jokes ....plz post your replies....
and
REPZ are always accepted
....dat woz reely funny...thnx 4 da post....keep postin chetta....
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