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It is a new year and time to bestow some awards on all those people who worked tirelessly to entertain us the last year. If not for these people, varnachitram would be hosting a blank page every day. Yes, the list is a bit nasty, then what to do. It was pretty serious stuff here for the past two weeks and we need to get silly once in a while.
Best Young Actor: Mammotty, who seems to be getting younger and hep day by day.
More Malayalee Than Most Malayalees Award: Padmapriya, who seems to be in every other movie with heroes from Mammotty to Srinivasan.
King Cobra Award: Thilakan for spitting venom against almost everyone in the film industry.
The only Malayalee heroine who can speak Malayalam Award: Kavya Madhavan
Best Wig Award: Siddique in various movies.
Worst Wig Award: Mammotty in Balram vs Tharadas
Person giving sleepless nights to Mohanlal fans award: Prithviraj, just based on the comments posted here.
Mission Impossible Award: The dance master who taught Mammotty to dance
Honorary DYSP Award: Suresh Gopi, for staying in Police Uniform more than career police officers.
Honorary Don Award; Suresh Gopi
Best Dialogue without inhaling award: Suresh Gopi
Best Malayalam-English dictionary: Suresh Gopi
Best Malayalam-Hindi dictionary: Neeraj Vohra, who writes most of Priyadarshan’s remakes.
Best award for remaking his own movies: Shaji Kailas
Best Buy one Get one offer - Prithviraj and Indrajith
Person Most in Need of Combat Training: Bheeman Raghu, who got beaten up by Dileep in Chess
National Award for acting as the idiot in Maximum number of movies: Cochin Haneefa
Sunil Shetty of the year award: No Winner (Everyone knows to act in Malayalam)
Person Most in Need of an Audience: Jayaram
Best Xerox Machine Award: Jayaraj, for making Ashwaroodan (Prajapathy) and Anachantham (Lohithadas had planned an elephant movie)
Best Animal lover award: Jayaraj, for making Ashwaroodan and Anachantham
The Man Who Lost his Mojo award: Ranjith, (Chandrolsavam, Prajapathy)
The Man Who Lost his Mojo award, Runner Up: Lohithadas
Mandrake Award for the Director who made most money dissappear: Ranjan Pramod whose miracle with Photographer is a tough act to follow.
Film which reinforced belief in God in Kerala Award: Photographer (all people said, Oh God after seeing it)
Movie Factory Conveyor Belt Award: Kalabhavan Mani
Randomly Trying Various Tricks Award: Dileep, tried to be a don, a retard, an idiot etc. Nothing worked.
Tanmatra award for Medical condition of the year - Brain damage caused by seeing Pachakuthira
Best Tourist award - Meera Jasmine who visited just to act in Rasathanthram.
Best Personal Sacrifice Award: Mamta Mohandas (for kissing Suresh Gopi in Lanka)
Special jury mention for promoting varnachitram in Google award: Mamta Mohandas
Tiger Balm Headache Award: Kilukkam Kilukilukkam
Newcomer of the year Award: Ha ha ha this is Malayalam cinema, we don?t like newcomers
plz post reply if u like it....
Best Young Actor: Mammotty, who seems to be getting younger and hep day by day.
More Malayalee Than Most Malayalees Award: Padmapriya, who seems to be in every other movie with heroes from Mammotty to Srinivasan.
King Cobra Award: Thilakan for spitting venom against almost everyone in the film industry.
The only Malayalee heroine who can speak Malayalam Award: Kavya Madhavan
Best Wig Award: Siddique in various movies.
Worst Wig Award: Mammotty in Balram vs Tharadas
Person giving sleepless nights to Mohanlal fans award: Prithviraj, just based on the comments posted here.
Mission Impossible Award: The dance master who taught Mammotty to dance
Honorary DYSP Award: Suresh Gopi, for staying in Police Uniform more than career police officers.
Honorary Don Award; Suresh Gopi
Best Dialogue without inhaling award: Suresh Gopi
Best Malayalam-English dictionary: Suresh Gopi
Best Malayalam-Hindi dictionary: Neeraj Vohra, who writes most of Priyadarshan’s remakes.
Best award for remaking his own movies: Shaji Kailas
Best Buy one Get one offer - Prithviraj and Indrajith
Person Most in Need of Combat Training: Bheeman Raghu, who got beaten up by Dileep in Chess
National Award for acting as the idiot in Maximum number of movies: Cochin Haneefa
Sunil Shetty of the year award: No Winner (Everyone knows to act in Malayalam)
Person Most in Need of an Audience: Jayaram
Best Xerox Machine Award: Jayaraj, for making Ashwaroodan (Prajapathy) and Anachantham (Lohithadas had planned an elephant movie)
Best Animal lover award: Jayaraj, for making Ashwaroodan and Anachantham
The Man Who Lost his Mojo award: Ranjith, (Chandrolsavam, Prajapathy)
The Man Who Lost his Mojo award, Runner Up: Lohithadas
Mandrake Award for the Director who made most money dissappear: Ranjan Pramod whose miracle with Photographer is a tough act to follow.
Film which reinforced belief in God in Kerala Award: Photographer (all people said, Oh God after seeing it)
Movie Factory Conveyor Belt Award: Kalabhavan Mani
Randomly Trying Various Tricks Award: Dileep, tried to be a don, a retard, an idiot etc. Nothing worked.
Tanmatra award for Medical condition of the year - Brain damage caused by seeing Pachakuthira
Best Tourist award - Meera Jasmine who visited just to act in Rasathanthram.
Best Personal Sacrifice Award: Mamta Mohandas (for kissing Suresh Gopi in Lanka)
Special jury mention for promoting varnachitram in Google award: Mamta Mohandas
Tiger Balm Headache Award: Kilukkam Kilukilukkam
Newcomer of the year Award: Ha ha ha this is Malayalam cinema, we don?t like newcomers
plz post reply if u like it....
...kalakki!!...reely lykd it...very funny.. 
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